Life can be rough sometimes, but it only gets tougher when we stop being real. One of the most powerful reframes in life is changing the idea that things happen TO us vs things just happen and we were there. Life isn’t personal. It’s life. We’ve got to learn to embrace it for better or worse. So here are some uncomfortable truths to embrace one of the most powerful reframes in life is changing the idea that things happen TO us vs things just happen and we were there. Life isn’t personal. It’s life. We’ve got to learn to embrace it for better or worse.
Life is not a new relationship, it's not a new job, its not a completed goal, and it's not a new car. Until you give up on the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.
Contrary to popular opinion, quitting is for winners. Knowing when to quit, change direction, leave a toxic situation, demand more from life, give up on something that isn't working and move on, is a very important skill that people who win at life all seem to have. But don't quit because it's hard.
If they really wanted to, they would. If you apply pressure, they'll do what you want them to. If you take the pressure off, you'll see what they'd rather do. Never waste your life fighting what someone would rather do. Let them go. Move on. Do better.
Taking no risk is the biggest risk. You have to risk failure to succeed. You have to risk rejection to be accepted. You have to risk heartbreak to love. If you're always avoiding risk, you're risking missing out on life.
Call yourself out. The most common reason why people keep making the same mistakes is that their insecure ego prevents them from taking responsibility for their own bullshit, their own toxic traits, and their own mistakes.
Closure isn't an apology, or justice, or answers. That's insecurity. If the situation made you feel awful, seeking closure by reopening it is insanity. The closure isn't something they can give you. The closure is moving on. The closure is your choice.
If you're happy alone, you'll be happier together. There is no type of affection that can fill the void of a person who doesn't love themselves already. There is no independence in dependency. There is no personal security in attaching yourself to a secure person. Until you have a healthy relationship with yourself, you won't make healthy decisions about someone else.
It's not your job to fix damaged people. Your responsibility to help someone will never outweigh their responsibility to help themselves. But, it's worth asking yourself why you resonated so strongly with someone that so desperately needed "fixing" in the first place. Often, our own toxic romantic and non-romantic attachments tell a story about an issue we have within ourselves.