Divorce may be a common phenomenon in the western world but in the eastern world is one of the biggest critics of this family issue. Even today, divorce is a topic of social taboo.
Marriage is all about love, trust understanding, happiness, and togetherness. But when that very premise is threatened, there is no point in remaining stifled in an unhappy marriage. We need to accept that it is perfectly ok to end a marriage that doesn’t have any meaning anymore. As a society, we should display empathy and not make it about the character of the individuals involved.
In Pakistan, where marriage is often considered sacred and even quintessential for a woman, and divorce gets looked at as a sign of failure. I admit that it’s not a pleasant experience to go through but I also am sure that when two people have given their heart and soul to their marriage they would do anything that is required to save their marriage. Also, that when one demands a divorce from his/her spouse there has to be or at least there should be a valid reason for it.
Then why does our society overlook the just reasons behind any divorce and label it as a No-No? After all, what is a divorce? Simply walking away from the person who wasn’t meant for you and ending the relationship which distressed you enough for long. One may call it evil but at times it becomes a necessary evil.
Our society has a problem with people being single. If you are of a certain age, you must marry or there must be something wrong with you; that's the general mindset. Any bachelor boy/girl who has gone house-hunting can attest to the problems they had to face for finding a place just because they were single. Divorcees are even more under a social microscope, because not only they are single, there must be something wrong with them.
The re-marriage of divorcees has been a thorny issue in our society. There is the mentality that there must be something wrong with the person if he/she couldn't make the last marriage work. Ours is a patriarchal society, somehow it works in worse ways for the women than for the men.
If a woman or a man wanted to take a divorce, then it became a moral dilemma for everyone in the extended families. Who will take care of the woman? For how long? In the social structure, there was a scheme to make sure the woman is taken care of until she dies, but it was completely conditional on her being married and/or having sons.
The major reason has to be the traditional lack of financial independence of women and thereby the social inequality caused by it. These days, a lot of women are financially independent, but society has not yet been able to get rid of the idea that divorce is a social stigma. But as people get more and more used to the idea of independent women, this will change as well. It will take a few generations, that's all.
So, whenever someone wanted a divorce, every well-wisher wanted to make sure it doesn't happen.
We have to ask people, what’s more, important to you, your children's marriage, or her/his life?
And most importantly Parents should teach their daughters to never accept disrespect by anyone. Today we live in a society where if not physically women are tortured mentally. Through this platform, I urge all the women out there to label any form of disrespect as a “No-No” instead of labeling divorce as one.