In our life, relationships can be challenging at some point, we all get hurt and put up invisible walls to protect ourselves. Most of us have felt like our trust has been compromised at some point in our lives. In any relationship, either its good or bad, trust is something we must build on a daily basis. We cannot protect ourselves by being mistrusting. often result in us marinating in the betrayal and becoming bitter. It is important to move on, even though it is hard, and move past the event rather than focusing on the betrayal and reopening the wounds over and over again. The longer we focus on what hurt us the harder it is to heal from the trauma and pain. Because trust is one of those things that we can't just skip over.
Here are some tips to help you open up and start trusting again.
Stop blaming yourself
It is really easy to feel bad for yourself after being hurt. While you may need a day or two to stay in bed eating ice cream and crying to sad love stories on television, try to wrap it up quickly. It won’t help you get over the pain. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in the sting of being betrayed. If you focus entirely on blaming the person involved, you make yourself the victim.
In this world, we all make mistakes. That is part of life. The best we can do is to learn from those mistakes and move forward. It does not mean you are a bad person if you misjudged someone or a situation. Learn from the experience and become a little wiser. Continuing to replay the betrayal and beat yourself up emotionally over how you could have or should have will only bring you down and make it that much harder to move forward. Take some time to lick your wounds, but then pick yourself back up knowing you did the best you could with what you had to work with at the time. Forgive yourself and know you will do it differently next time.
Learn To Trust Yourself
In order to ever trust another person, you must first trust yourself. Trust in your judgment and ability to make good choices. Just because someone you loved hurt you, it does not mean you have poor judgment, or that you made a mistake letting them in. Your instincts are powerful, and you should not doubt yourself based on this one experience. Pay attention to your instincts and trust yourself today, tomorrow, and every day.
Overcome the fear of rejection
Love yourself first and foremost. This is so important and yet so many believe that entrusting or expecting the love of others is more important. We have to make ourselves the most important person in our lives. Knowing that whatever happens we are ok and we are loved (by ourselves). Loving us is not the job of another, it’s our job. And I mean unconditional love, i.e. whether we’re our ideal weight, whether we lazed in bed, whether we didn’t make it to the gym, whether we said something unkind when we were tired ... all of that. Unconditional love.
Just do it
When facing our fears, sometimes we have to just do it to get past them. Just trust. Choose a person with is truly a good person with good intentions. Perhaps they have made mistakes but down deep they are trustworthy. Stop over analyzing and nitpicking. Let them share their best selves with you.